Should I Cover My Gray?

If you are a guy and you are reading this post, you're probably wondering; why is this an issue at all, let alone an existential one? This is because society has told you for years that having gray hair makes you distinguished. You might even be called a silver fox like this guy. or any of these dudes. A 2016 Match.com study said that 72 percent of the women who participated in the study said they found men with gray hair more attractive than men who did not have "a salt and pepper hairline." Given all this information, I get why you are confused.

See, those of us of the female persuasion have been informed since we were tiny babies that we need to FIGHT aging with all the lotions, potions, power tools, needles, and dyes that we can or risk INVISIBLE WOMEN SYNDROME. (Yes, this is a real thing.) Depending on the definition you read, it's what happens when women over 40 or 50 disappear from public view or aren't acknowledged as attractive or you know, people, anymore. A few years ago, Inside Amy Schumer had a hilarious bit where a number of actresses celebrated Julia Louis-Dreyfus' "Last Fu*&able Day." The premise is that Julia lasted way longer than most women, but she was about to become irrelevant, unsexy, invisible, and too old to play Jack Nicholson's wife or Mrs. Claus.

Given this double standard, now you understand why this might be a dilemma for women. Especially when you consider the price tag for hair color. Keeping gray hairs at bay can be super-duper pricy. It can cost women a couple of hundred dollars per salon appointment, depending on where they live, and the grayer they are, the more frequently they need touch ups. Meanwhile, Just for Men, which I can only assume is mostly coveted by men over 40 trying to hit on 20-somethings, costs roughly $11 at Target. There is over-the-counter products for women, too, but it's hard to use and not that long lasting.

What do I think the answer is to "should I cover my gray?"

It's totally a personal choice and should be based on things like your available budget, how you think the gray looks with your cut and skin tone, priorities, health, and your level of vanity and confidence tied to how you look. I have a few friends with beautiful gray-hued hair that totally works for them. Just know though that some people might mistake you for older than you are and if you are okay with that, than rock that gray. Side note, a number of years ago, I worked with a woman who was very prematurely gray (in her mid-20s) and left her hair natural. She came back from some weekend outing and was upset that some stranger had assumed she was a mom of her group of friends. I get it. Our societal perceptions suck, but she had to know that people make assumptions based on looks all the time.

As for me, I've had some confidence issues and some really bad hair days in my past. (See my mini afro at age 13, or on second thought, don't.) As of right now, I plan to cover up that gray (and white!) like my mom does at least into my 70s.

I should say that most of my advice on this blog will probably end with some version of "you do you," as long as you or others in your orbit aren't being hurt.

Feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments section!